God bless America

by kvennarad

I love America.

In 1776, by effect of rebellion, America declared itself
an irony-free zone. Its first act was to de-spell
and re-spell certain words, in order to emphasise
and de-anglicise them.

Little did they realise that the words they chose

center, color, theater

were basically French.

Americans never go anywhere without a donkey.
When you call an American over, you must also
summon his donkey:

Get your ass over here!

Sometimes the donkey may be melancholy:

Get your sorry ass over here!

Cruelty to a donkey is a measure of approval:

That was totally kick-ass!

It is a common thing for an American to hazard his donkey

You bet your ass it is!

An acceptable alternative to an act of violence
against an American is one aimed at his donkey
You may

whup

his

ass.

In extremis you may even

pop a cap in

his

ass.

Well, if the cap fits, pop it. I once heard an American claim
that he had followed someone’s ass all over the Mid-West.
America is, after all, dedicated to life, liberty,
and the pursuit of donkeys.
So

God bless America,

irony-free zone

that I love.

 

UranusAnd happy Chocolate-Egg-Day everyone. By the way, if you want to know more about me, please click here to read my latest interview, conducted by Robin Ouzman Hislop of Poetry Life and Times.

Advertisements